i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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