I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize