I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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