So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
