If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
