Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
