I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
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