I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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