Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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