Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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