a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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