too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
