I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
