I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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