i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
