How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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