she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
