Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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