is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
