Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
