I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
