Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize