if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I supernannyed him into submission
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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