dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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