Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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