I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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