Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
