just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
