Fine. I'll sleep in my office
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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