'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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