i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
