my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
