no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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