Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
