this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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