I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
