I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
