i don't like sucking hair
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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