He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
