Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
