it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
