Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
