That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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