lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
