He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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