he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
