Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
