I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
