break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You need a sexual gate keeper
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
