Pappa wants mamma naked
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
