My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize