he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think we might need a safe word for this...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
