Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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