So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
