no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
