well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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