I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
