It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
