this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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