I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
