You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize