She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize